Family Fun Day

It seems like we have been consumed with preparation for Uganda for many weeks.  There have been MILLIONS of errands, along with hours of washing, packing, buying, researching, obsessing, etc.  So, Dawson and I decided that today would be dedicated to our kids....to having as much fun with them as possible.  The WHOLE day!  And it was awesome!

This morning, we all walked down to our neighborhood park.  Dawson and I played with the kids...actually played, not just sat on the bench and watched them play.  Dawson and Caleb threw around the football, while the girls and I ran around on the playscape and played 'Barbie camp out.'  Then we all took turns swinging.  It was a very pleasant start to our day!

Next, we took the kids to watch "Madagascar 3".  It was cute!  Even Adelyn was entertained, and sat through most of the movie.  We spoiled them with popcorn, candy and soda.  We all enjoyed the full experience!

We let them skip naps today (which is a BIG deal in the Skow household) and we all went swimming at the public pool instead!  It was like a dream come true for them....to trade-in naps for swimming! :)  It was a super fun time, not too crowded.  And my precious baby girl is now swimming!  I almost started crying when I saw her swimming in the pool today.  I can't believe how big she is getting!!!

After a quick Sonic run, we came home, changed clothes and took them to Chuck-E-Cheese for supper!  This obnoxious establishment is usually only reserved for birthday treats, so they were pretty excited about eating with ChuckE!  Pizza, games and a weird, giant mouse....what more could a kid want?? :)

We ended the day with a round of baths and some good, quality story time!  Ellie wanted me to read, "Mommy and Me" tonight.  It took everything I had to not start crying when she handed me the book. I am determined to not let my sadness about leaving them spill over on them.  However....I'm sure they were all wondering why I hugged them each about 472 times today.

I didn't take any pictures of our "Family Fun Day"....which actually was kind of nice.  To be just a participant in my kids' lives.  Not a photographer.  Not an overseer.  Just a participant today.  But I will include some of my recent favorites of my sweet babies.

whew....handing them off to Nonny tomorrow is going to be hard.

 My beautiful, little mermaids

 From one of the MANY concerts that we have had lately :)

One of my very favorites from the VBS mustache series :)

 My precious little helper...helping me 'mow the grass'!

 

And my handsome, fellow gardener

What I am really scared of....

I love my blog.  You know why?  Because it is like a friend.  One that is available for listening 24/7, with no judgement or opinions.  I can just talk on and on about my joys, my fears or whatever I want, and my blog just takes it all in. :)  And for those victims who read my blog...it is completely of your own free will, so I don't have to take any responsibility!

So, tonight, as I sit here right in front of this blessed AC window unit (yes, our AC is broken.  God bless America) I need to pour out my heart a little bit.

There is no doubt or debate that I am an emotional person.  The end.  So, every event in my life is an emotional event.  Everything is either happy or exciting or sad or infuriating.  Well, this journey of preparing for our time in Uganda has been one of the most emotional things I have EVER done.  I have experienced SO many emotions....so many powerful and extreme emotions.  It has been exhausting!  It makes me feel so much more sympathetic toward my dear friends who actually moved to Uganda in January.  I can't imagine how powerful those emotions must have been.

Anyway.  I have felt excited, joyful, anxious, worried, curious and more about this trip.  But I would say the overwhelming emotion has been FEAR.  I am embarrassed to say that.  But it is true.  The most powerful emotion I have felt about this 11 day adventure has been fear. 

I have quite a few 'mini-fears.'  Fears that cross my mind, but don't hold too much weight. 

Fear of flying over the ocean.

Fear of getting sick.

Fear of how people see me.

Fear of bugs in my hair.

Fear of bugs in my feet.

Fear of 'hole-in-the-ground' potties :/

But then I have the REAL fears.  The Big Mama fears....that make me feel sick to my stomach.  These are fears that I don't really want to even talk about, because it substantiates them.  But that's not the way I roll.  It's oddly therapeutic for me to articulate them.

The fear of leaving my babies for so long... so long that it somehow messes with the bond I have with them.

The fear of not being strong enough. 

The fear of getting in the way of God's perfect will for this trip.

The fear of God truly changing me.  Like for real.  Because people always say/act like they want to be changed by this kind of trip....I can't even tell you how many people have told me "this will change me."  But I think most people are only looking for 'micro-change'....the kind of change that is still within acceptable boundaries and controllable.  I am afraid God might change me down deep.  The kind of change that doesn't shift perspective, but instead beats it down on the concrete, busts it into a million pieces and stomps on it. 

The fear that God might use this trip to reveal part of His will for our lives. 

These fears....shake me to the core.  They challenge my faith and my theology. 

And the most ridiculous thing of all is that God tells me:

¹⁴ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. ¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  
Romans 8:14-16


But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine."
Isaiah 43:1 

I especially love this passage, when he basically calls them little worms...I have definitely felt like a little worm lately.  This scripture speaks to me!
 
"For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you.
¹⁴ Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,
    little Israel, do not fear,
for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord,
    your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
Isaiah 41:13-15

I know He is the only one I should fear.  His Word is my peace.  

The theme song for this week

God knew what He was doing when He matched Dawson and I up. Dawson not only loves music, but he is also very gifted in music.  I can't sing very well, and I don't really play any instruments, but I have music in my heart. Music means a lot to me. And God speaks to me a lot through music.

Even though I LOVE the worship songs that we sing at church, it seems more often the songs that God brings to my mind/heart when I need comfort or encouragement are old songs...ones that I sang as a young believer. This is the song that God has placed in my heart this week. (a continuation of His sermon series in my life right now)  When I looked up all the verses, I had no idea just how appropriate it was for this season. Here are some of the beautiful lyrics:

When we walk with the Lord
in the light of his word,
what a glory he sheds on our way!
While we do his good will,
 he abides with us still,
and with all who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey,
for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet
we will sit at his feet,
or we'll walk by his side in the way;
what he says we will do, 
where he sends we will go; 
never fear, only trust and obey. 

LOUD AND CLEAR!

Yes Lord!  I hear you!! 

The Lord is coming through LOUD and CLEAR!  His sermon series in my life continues... and He continues to tell me.

Step 1- SURRENDER!

Step 2- DO NOT FEAR!

Here are two ways He spoke these words again to me today!!

My awesome cousin-in-law's blog: "NO FEAR...yea right."

and an awesome mommy blog: "Being a mom..."

I've claimed His peace today!  And it feels good!  God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good.

"Rubber, Meet Road." Part 2

Does it ever seem like God is preaching a sermon series in your life??  Like He has a literal theme to the lessons and messages He is sending your way? 

This past weekend, I attended a church I had never been to before.  My plans to attend this particular church were even made last minute.  Yet it became clear as soon as the sermon started, that God meant for me to be there.

Overall, the preacher was not notably dynamic.  The sermon was not a piece of oratory art.  But the God Almighty spoke once again directly to my life's true dilemma and the Holy Spirit offered some exceptionally beautiful truth to my anxious heart. 

The incredibly necessary, but remarkably difficult sermon series God is preaching to me is simply titled "SURRENDER ALL"  That's it.  Surrender All.  He has been artfully weaving this theme into my life for months. Dadgummit.  

And let me tell you, I have sang this song many times, but to actually surrender all to God seems just about impossible.  There are many things I CAN surrender.  I will surrender our house and our cars. I am happy to surrender my career and my job.  I can surrender friendships. Future plans.  Even my marriage. On a good day, I may be able to surrender our finances.  I even feel like I could one day surrender most of myself.  But, as tears roll down my face, my babies are a different story.  Even though, I sure thought that I was surrendering them to Him....come to find out,  I'm not.  Not truly and unreservedly.  For some ignorant, foolish reason, my heart tells me my kids have to be under my wing.  Somehow, deep down, I feel like I am the one protecting them.  Providing for their needs.  Trust me- even as I type these words, I feel ashamed to admit this. 

I KNOW, in my head, and in my theology, that it is GOD, and ONLY GOD, that truly protects and provides for my children.  I BELIEVE that God loves them more than I do, and He holds them in His Mighty Hand.  But knowing and believing are very different than doing.  Having a belief and living in faith.  Not the same. 

For some crazy, irritating reason, God has chosen to use this trip to Uganda to introduce my rubber to the the road.  His road.  Do I really trust Him with my life?  Do I trust Him with my kids?  Can I surrender ALL to Him?

The verses from Sunday's message that warmed my soul were Isaiah 26:3-4
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you.  Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal."

Right now, this extraordinary promise offers me a bright hope--that perfect peace is on the other side of trust and surrender.  I desire that perfect peace.  I need that perfect peace.  I know that God is faithful to give me the strength and courage to surrender all to Him.  Now it's time to live that out.  To surrender my most precious gifts, to choose His road and seek His peace.

Amen.

"Rubber, Meet Road." Part 1

As we get closer and closer to the BIG day, my heart and mind seem to be riding on a roller coaster of emotion.  How someone can be excited and overjoyed one day and then scared to death the next day all about the same trip, I do not know?!?  So, God and I continue to talk and work things out.   Tonight, He reminded me of something very simple, but very important.

At our 1st Wednesday service tonight, we were singing a worship song by Gungor, and the words are...

Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord
the earth is yours
THE EARTH IS YOURS

Simple words.  Incredible truth.  The earth....the WHOLE EARTH is HIS!  Somehow I think I have been forgetting this.  Almost subconsciously, I have been thinking that I was going to leave God here in America.  And then I would be in Uganda, by myself, defenseless, and left to chance and parasites. :) Isn't that stupid?  But it was so good to be reminded that the whole earth is God's...and that His sovereignty includes Jinja, Uganda. 

This is only one of the big truths that God has been really teaching me about....more to come. 

The Beginnings of Summer

Summertime.  Does this make word make the song "Summertime" by Will Smith start playing in your head??  It does mine! :)  We used to play that record (yes, record!) in the percussion room back in the day.  Wow.  Wasn't that just yesterday??  But on to the real reason for this entry...

IT IS SUMMER!!  I can't believe that the school year is already over.  It's cliche, but it really does go by faster and faster every year.  We started the summer off with lots of fun this past weekend.

 Last day of school picture...with teacher gifts in hand.

 Celebrating "School's Out" with Spoons yummy-ness and our Downs crew

  My sweet girl...we have red faces because we walked to Spoons from our house (~ 1.5 miles!)  I've decided this is a good way to eat our Spoons treats....earn those calories! :)

Ellie had her last soccer game on Saturday.   Each player got a new soccer ball as their "trophy"

 The Lady Rams! (totally weird name, right?!? :)

 and then they had a celebration and there was bounce house fun!!

 And we had our first summer picnic...

 proof...ugly proof...but proof we were there...and we ate sandwiches :)

 the ducks were trying to join us for dinner

 it was a beautiful evening

 my good lookin' boy

I am so happy that summer is here so that I can spend more time with all of these people! 

 I am so blessed!!!