I am weak.
I am a mess.
But God is strong.
God is Beautiful.
God is so very merciful.
I went jogging for the first time in about three months today. And God used that time of running and worshipping to cleanse my soul. I had forgotten how good it feels to let God cleanse your soul. I have found that there are a few conduits that God uses to cleanse my soul. Nature. Sustained Quiet. Worship. Running. Laughter. Crying. Awesomely enough, He used a combination of all of those today.
All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life
Could really
Change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost
Ever be found
Could a garden come up from this
Ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things
Out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up
From this old ground
Out of chaos life is being
Found in You
You make me new. You are making me new.
You make beautiful things.
*
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Two years ago today...
There aren't words in our language strong enough to describe the feelings of days like this....
It was magical, scary, wonderful, stressful, exciting, painful, happy, exhausting, full of anticipation, FULL of joy....it was awesome. Thank you God for giving me this beautiful baby girl. She is your unique and wonderful creation. And I don't deserve to be her mommy, but I feel so honored that you picked me. I celebrate her precious life today!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Two too soon!
This past weekend was Adelyn's birthday party. It was another Elmo party. We had a lot of fun spending time with our family and closest friends. Thankfully this party was more relaxed than some other kid parties I've tried to pull off. The only stressful part was the cake pops...but they turned out o.k. Not nearly as cool as "Bakerella's" but good enough!
Our sweet baby girl doesn't officially turn two until this Thursday. And I have to admit, I am dreading the day! I'm not ready for my little baby to be 2 years old!!! I want her to stay my sweet, squeezable, loveable little baby forever! Is that wrong? At times, it has been hard to watch all three of my babies grow up and change, but since she is the last one, I feel like I'm losing a part of my motherhood that I will never get back. I know that the days are numbered of when I can rock her and sing to her before she sleeps. Or when she will cry out for me from her crib and raise her hands up to me to rescue her. Or times I will carry her around on my hip, because she wants, "me up!" Oh my goodness, I am starting to cry right now just thinking about it. Holy Cow....I'm not ready for her to grow up.
A girl and her candle....
I think she liked the Elmo pops!
These two have such a sweet relationship...much love for each other!
Having fun in her cute Elmo dress!
The "Gran Girls" and their Granny!
Addie loves her Nonny very much!
She was blessed with many fun presents!
Getting wet and dirty with her buddies and Poppy!
God blessed us with perfect weather for back yard fun!
Two of our favorite girls....Aunt Leah and "Saw-Saw" :)
Some swing time with her Aunt Sissy (Lisa:) !
Mmmmm, that cake was good!
My precious little ragamuffin
Our sweet baby girl doesn't officially turn two until this Thursday. And I have to admit, I am dreading the day! I'm not ready for my little baby to be 2 years old!!! I want her to stay my sweet, squeezable, loveable little baby forever! Is that wrong? At times, it has been hard to watch all three of my babies grow up and change, but since she is the last one, I feel like I'm losing a part of my motherhood that I will never get back. I know that the days are numbered of when I can rock her and sing to her before she sleeps. Or when she will cry out for me from her crib and raise her hands up to me to rescue her. Or times I will carry her around on my hip, because she wants, "me up!" Oh my goodness, I am starting to cry right now just thinking about it. Holy Cow....I'm not ready for her to grow up.
A girl and her candle....
I think she liked the Elmo pops!
These two have such a sweet relationship...much love for each other!
Having fun in her cute Elmo dress!
The "Gran Girls" and their Granny!
Addie loves her Nonny very much!
She was blessed with many fun presents!
Getting wet and dirty with her buddies and Poppy!
God blessed us with perfect weather for back yard fun!
Two of our favorite girls....Aunt Leah and "Saw-Saw" :)
Some swing time with her Aunt Sissy (Lisa:) !
Mmmmm, that cake was good!My precious little ragamuffin
oxyMoron
I think I could be losing my mind. I am blogging this just in case it really does happen and someone needs to someday analyze 'when it all began...' or just in case any of my friends or family come to visit me, and they find that I am not home.....now, you will know to check with the local looney-bin. :)
Seriously, I do feel like I have been through a mental battle these last couple of months. And I am still hesitant to even admit it to anyone. But that is the catch-22 of blogs....they can serve as good "journaling therapy," but then it is out there for whomever to read?!? However, I am compelled to share a little bit of it, especially after a good friend reminded me at a bible study this past week that we can sometimes squelch Satan's strategies by sharing our struggles and getting them out into the light. The enemy does love to make us feel isolated. He also loves to use guilt to way us down and steal our joy.
The crazy thing is that this season of my life is filled with so many blessings and very few burdens. In the past year or two, I have been through much harder and more stressful seasons than this one. Again, I am reminded of something else another friend said in a small group when comparing her 'small potatoes' to others' woes. She said, " My biggest problem is that I have 3 kids....and that's not even a problem!" :)
Anyway, I have just let Satan or maybe just my sinful nature have way too much control over my thoughts....and my perception of myself. I have focused so much on my failures and my weaknesses, that I could barely think of anything else. Again, another one of Satan's tricks. Whenever we take time to have a pity party, or just hate ourselves for all the stupid things we do, we are rendered useless for God's work. We (I keep saying "we" because it's much more comfortable to be universal here, rather than personal?!)...can become self absorbed and not even realize it.
Our women's group is reading through Purpose Driven Life, and in one of the daily devotionals, Warren says something like, when we get to Heaven, what if we have to look back on our life and realize all the time and energy we wasted worrying about meaningless things? I don't want to waste anymore time or energy worrying about or focusing on things that don't matter. I want to focus on my "big rocks"; I want to have an eternal perspective every day. Besides, I barely have enough time and energy for everything that is meaningful. I can't afford to waste.
I am acutely aware of my shortcomings. I am pretty sure I could be the reason why God had to create Grace. Alone, I am useless and worthless. But because I have been saved by His Grace. And I have the extreme privilege of having His Holy Spirit abide in me. I am capable of accomplishing God's will for my life. I have access to His power, His purposes, and His perspective. I just have to claim them.
So, I would like to end this self therapy session with a list of blessings....to remind me of my millions of reasons to choose joy over sadness, peace over anxiety, victory over defeat....
A-Adelyn Lively
B- my Bible, a source of Truth and peace
C- Caleb Wayne
D- Dawson Wayne, my best friend and my rock
E- Ellie Faith
F- the fellowship we have with our precious church family
G- God's good Grace!
H- Holly and Kari...God's favors to me
I- increasing ministry opportunities
J- Joy
K- kinds words
L- Lisa Kathryn
M- my Mom and my MOPS girls...sweet souls
N- our Nation of freedom and abundance
O- our small groups
P- a plentiful pantry
Q- quiet mornings with Him
R- rest
S- sweet sounds of our happy, healthy children
T- Tracy Jannette
U- underwear...glad to have some!
V- Valiant people in my life who inspire me
W- worship that refreshes my soul
X- x-citing possibilities ?! :)
Y- the yearning to draw closer to Him
Z- a zealous God who desires me to be zealous too
The end.
Seriously, I do feel like I have been through a mental battle these last couple of months. And I am still hesitant to even admit it to anyone. But that is the catch-22 of blogs....they can serve as good "journaling therapy," but then it is out there for whomever to read?!? However, I am compelled to share a little bit of it, especially after a good friend reminded me at a bible study this past week that we can sometimes squelch Satan's strategies by sharing our struggles and getting them out into the light. The enemy does love to make us feel isolated. He also loves to use guilt to way us down and steal our joy.
The crazy thing is that this season of my life is filled with so many blessings and very few burdens. In the past year or two, I have been through much harder and more stressful seasons than this one. Again, I am reminded of something else another friend said in a small group when comparing her 'small potatoes' to others' woes. She said, " My biggest problem is that I have 3 kids....and that's not even a problem!" :)
Anyway, I have just let Satan or maybe just my sinful nature have way too much control over my thoughts....and my perception of myself. I have focused so much on my failures and my weaknesses, that I could barely think of anything else. Again, another one of Satan's tricks. Whenever we take time to have a pity party, or just hate ourselves for all the stupid things we do, we are rendered useless for God's work. We (I keep saying "we" because it's much more comfortable to be universal here, rather than personal?!)...can become self absorbed and not even realize it.
Our women's group is reading through Purpose Driven Life, and in one of the daily devotionals, Warren says something like, when we get to Heaven, what if we have to look back on our life and realize all the time and energy we wasted worrying about meaningless things? I don't want to waste anymore time or energy worrying about or focusing on things that don't matter. I want to focus on my "big rocks"; I want to have an eternal perspective every day. Besides, I barely have enough time and energy for everything that is meaningful. I can't afford to waste.
I am acutely aware of my shortcomings. I am pretty sure I could be the reason why God had to create Grace. Alone, I am useless and worthless. But because I have been saved by His Grace. And I have the extreme privilege of having His Holy Spirit abide in me. I am capable of accomplishing God's will for my life. I have access to His power, His purposes, and His perspective. I just have to claim them.
So, I would like to end this self therapy session with a list of blessings....to remind me of my millions of reasons to choose joy over sadness, peace over anxiety, victory over defeat....
A-Adelyn Lively
B- my Bible, a source of Truth and peace
C- Caleb Wayne
D- Dawson Wayne, my best friend and my rock
E- Ellie Faith
F- the fellowship we have with our precious church family
G- God's good Grace!
H- Holly and Kari...God's favors to me
I- increasing ministry opportunities
J- Joy
K- kinds words
L- Lisa Kathryn
M- my Mom and my MOPS girls...sweet souls
N- our Nation of freedom and abundance
O- our small groups
P- a plentiful pantry
Q- quiet mornings with Him
R- rest
S- sweet sounds of our happy, healthy children
T- Tracy Jannette
U- underwear...glad to have some!
V- Valiant people in my life who inspire me
W- worship that refreshes my soul
X- x-citing possibilities ?! :)
Y- the yearning to draw closer to Him
Z- a zealous God who desires me to be zealous too
The end.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The Firstborn
This is super late, but my blog motto is always Better Late than Never! I'm sure years from now, I'll just be grateful I chronicled the milestones at all.....right?!
At the end of January, Caleb Wayne turned 7 years old! It was also my 7th Mom-iversary! I can't believe my baby is already 7. My Mamaw was so right when she used to tell me that the years go by faster as you get older. She was a wise woman.
One of Caleb's few passions is football. He loves playing it with his Daddy and his friends. He even already likes watching it on TV. He already knows more about the sport than I do. So, needless to say, he wanted a "Football party!" God blessed us with beautiful weather that day, so we had a great time watching/playing football.
A little "Ode to Caleb".....
God definitely gave me my easiest child first. Caleb has been a total delight ever since the day he came into our lives. He is my sweet, sweet boy with a heart of gold. He is the best big brother I could have ever dreamed of for his sisters. He is a champion for any underdog. And the white boy thinks he's a gangsta!?! :) He loves to rap, beat box, and break dance. When he goes outside to play with his friends on our street, he always puts his cap on sideways, walks outside with his deuces held up, saying, "What up?!" He's funny, he's smart, he's sweet. For better or worse, he got his mama's looks and his Daddy's gentle spirit. He's a hoot!
Presents are always easier to open with the help of a sister and a cousin!
Some of Caleb's best little buddies
Caleb Wayne, You are my sunshine!
At the end of January, Caleb Wayne turned 7 years old! It was also my 7th Mom-iversary! I can't believe my baby is already 7. My Mamaw was so right when she used to tell me that the years go by faster as you get older. She was a wise woman.
One of Caleb's few passions is football. He loves playing it with his Daddy and his friends. He even already likes watching it on TV. He already knows more about the sport than I do. So, needless to say, he wanted a "Football party!" God blessed us with beautiful weather that day, so we had a great time watching/playing football.
A little "Ode to Caleb".....
God definitely gave me my easiest child first. Caleb has been a total delight ever since the day he came into our lives. He is my sweet, sweet boy with a heart of gold. He is the best big brother I could have ever dreamed of for his sisters. He is a champion for any underdog. And the white boy thinks he's a gangsta!?! :) He loves to rap, beat box, and break dance. When he goes outside to play with his friends on our street, he always puts his cap on sideways, walks outside with his deuces held up, saying, "What up?!" He's funny, he's smart, he's sweet. For better or worse, he got his mama's looks and his Daddy's gentle spirit. He's a hoot!
Presents are always easier to open with the help of a sister and a cousin!
Some of Caleb's best little buddies
Caleb Wayne, You are my sunshine!Tuesday, February 8, 2011
January Joys 2011
We had the best New Year's Eve this year...maybe of all time! We spent it with some of our favorite friends, and these were our outfits!
The coolest cats in town....sorry, dawgs in town! :)
My beautiful sunshine
One of the only fun ways to do the dishes....with a partner :)
Caleb, getting ready to take the plunge....so much braver than his mama!
Love this picture of Ellie and Tracy....what a pose!
My little ragamuffin! I think she loves our new trampoline more than anyone else!Saturday, February 5, 2011
Time to Rally
Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
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