Sunday, May 3, 2020

Jen Hatmaker and Words


Well, Hello Blog.

It has been awhile. 

I am inspired to return here today because of a new book I am reading, "Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire."  It is written by Jen Hatmaker, who I admire tremendously.  I joke that we are besties...but I'm not sure if we would, if given the chance. I usually seek out a yin to my yang, when it comes to close friends. I imagine that Jen and I would be too "yang and yang."

I'm only on the 3rd chapter of her new book, but the first two chapters have already been A LOT to digest.  She is encouraging her readers to self-assess. It is a challenge to self-awareness, with an encouragement to make peace with your divine design. Even the idea of "divine design" is something I am currently wrestling with.  How does God's beautiful intention of you reconcile with your inherent "sin nature?" The Bible is confusing on this point. God and I are still talking about this and working it out.

Like most other people, I have really struggled with getting comfortable in my own skin. 

Like Jen, a big part of my self awareness journey is entangled with my religious background and its teachings on womanhood.  Those beliefs, along with a pretty traditional, Southern, patriarchal family, has led to awkwardly struggling with how to discover and realize my true design. 

Whether by nature or nurture, I have always had--again, much like Jen--A LOT of words and A LOT of BIG feelings. It is crazy how even typing that out brings tears to my eyes.  Just owning that.  Just plainly stating, without judgement--for even just my own eyes to see. 

So I think this introductory message of Jen's book of self-discovery and awareness is super important.  And as a 41 year old woman, I find that it is incredibly suited and relevant to my stage in life.  It feels increasingly critical to my contentment-- that I make peace with who I am, and stake claim to the freedom and grace I have to be her.

I guess I am writing this blog today because I want to be more intentional about processing the truth and wisdom that I am discovering. And writing helps me process.  And like I said, I have lots of words, and this is a place to put some of them.   

I think I am figuring out that while I like to share my words...but the purpose of the writing is for me. 

To be continued....

Testing, Testing...1, 2, 3

Checking to see if this still works......and how it will look.