Defeated or Determined

I'm going to list a bunch of random thoughts.....mainly to clear my head of them, and for today, this is my therapy....

I feel like God is trying to tell me something. He is trying to show me a way I should go....but I haven't figured out exactly which direction it is yet....

Being a full-time "stay-at-home" mom is hard.

I feel like I'm gaining weight by the minute. Even if I just smell something, I seem to absorb the calories. Why is that?

I really like Zumba. Dancing is so fun!

Adelyn's kisses are one of my favorite things in the world.

I know that managing money is a learning process, with many spiritual implications, but I wish God would choose to just wipe our debt away, plant a small, but respectable amount of money in our savings account and then let us just move forward with trying to be a good steward of our monthly budget.

I wish I had a therapist/counselor. There are many days that I feel like I need a paid friend, who can just listen to me talk for an hour or two, and then offer some godly encouragement. But who has the time or money for therapy?? :/

I am so happy for summer to be here. It's so nice to take a break from regular life, and for things to slow down a bit.

My baby sister is getting married in less than a month.....I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I am truly excited for her to be marrying AJ, but I am not happy about him taking her to San Antonio. Well, I guess he's not really "taking her", more like she is willingly and happily going with him.....still, I don't like it.

God has been speaking to me about surrendering daily to Him. Praying or even reading my Bible, doesn't necessarily mean I am submitting my life to His will. I have to surrender to Him EVERY DAY, and then do it again, the next day. Jesus tells me in Luke 9:23
Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."

I have to pick up my cross daily. (who has to do it? only I can do it)

I have to pick up my cross daily. (there has to be action...I have to actually do something)

I have to pick up my cross daily. (it is MY cross....not anyone else's. and that cross symbolizes what for me? )

I have to pick up my cross daily. (not a few times a week, not just when everything is good and easy or when I'm desperate for help......every day)

Gosh, Jesus. That doesn't sound easy. In fact, it sounds hard. But I don't have to do it on my own....

Psalme 59:17
You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely.

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Isaiah 40:29
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

So, I'm going to start asking God for His strength. When things seem hard, the stress is mounting or the day seems overwhelming... i want to ask Him for help, to carry my cross.

Love these words from Paul, at the end of Ephesians 3....

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.